Sunday, April 1, 2012

Prologue to Madness

A world of pain and suffering constitutes as your reality in the realization that in the end things never truly are what they appeared to be all along. Feeling so broken and abused our own frailty comes as no shock.  We have known all along just how weak we were, by all the pain felt inside.  Yet we move passed all the hurt in the attempt to discover who we've become and who we are.
So, ahead of each of you is a great journey and each journey is uniquely different. We're meant to travel alone towards our destination.  While most travel along their journey with others who share simularities in there desired destinations, as to not travel alone. Other's who are  lonely and are in search of something, anything that can ease the suffering of there reality. There are some who do choose to travel alone on there journey and along the way discovering the nature of there reality for them selfs and often times discovering that what you found has in fact already been discovered... What they discovered was The End of there reality..
The Duality of which shall consist of My silent and unacknowledged contributions to the sum total of the universal manifestations, even in the midst of competing radical realities or illusions of reality. Now, I know you probably dont want to hear what i have to say..believe me i dont want to be the one to say it. I dont care what you think that you think that you think, because you dont actually think. You think, you think and think about what you think your gonna say. Your either thinking about what your are speaking or speaking about what you are thinking. Never thinking what is being thought or speaking what is being spoken.
Now amidst all this chaos, there somewhere in between the thoughts exist a sacred silence where our role in the rational order of the universe is found and that self control is of the utmost importance. The nature of reality is to be in a constant state of flux.  All external phenomena should be of no consequence's to us because we have no control over them. We control only our internal reactions to them. Our emotions are to be controlled. Their is nothing that we will encounter that really is all that important as to cause us to experience overwhelming emotions of any kind. We have an obligation to realize our nature in a rational life. We are all apart of a well organized and rational universe. In which our time here is very limited, and we mustn't loose focus of that. Focusing here will entail for us to value the moments we have and not miss an opportunity. Go to the heart of things, their you can see things for what they are. There is no judgments that can be made rationally when seeing things as they are. When viewing things this way we are no longer placing judgments as an emotional response, we are in a sense at a shared neutrality freed from out attachment to it. In fact every one whom i have met and likely all those I've yet to meet are; inter-fearing,ungracious, insolent, anti-social creatures of habit. They have all become like that because they lack any true understanding of Good & Evil. I however know that the nature of the wrong doers is of one-kin of mind, the same portion of the divine as I. A Mans life is his journey to the end, his life time is but a period, reality in flux, perception indistinct, the composition of the body subject to easy corruption, the soul a spinning top, fortune hard to make out, fame confused...To put it briefly physical things are but a flowing stream, things of the soul, Dreams and vanity.. Life is but a struggle and a visit to a strange, strange land.
In Post...You must Fame, but of forgetting...Take what you want, and leave the rest.
So what then can be a mans escort through life? Were can meaning be found? To be honest i dont even know what im looking for so Im Sitting here as once before, Lost in time not knowing who to be or how to get along with mankind. Where is my mind?
I know you want to be my salvation, the one who i can always depend but im not yours as much as your mine. Patience now, i just need a little more time before we run our lifetime, before it all ends.
Was that you, or was that me that just made me feel free and real. Stay close to me and just watch as the world comes alive. Can you see it, can you see it in my eye's. Hold on to me, stay close to me and hold your head on high as im making my passage through this span of time in abidance to Nature,and I will Gladly lay down my life just as easily as it was give unto me..
Here I am again...  I sit alone watching the clock as i try to collect my thoughts, but all i do is think of you, of all the smiles i had to fake, all the shit i  have had to take. I never seem to have the things to say to make it all go away, to just make it all disappear.
 if you believe in me then hear my words, hear my voice and just believe,This life is not always what it seems to be, some times the weak do become the strong. I have been waiting for so long, for some one to just believe in me
Believe me, I was made for chasing dreams,  i live my life through dreams. Some times i'll cry myself to sleep. Then i dream, dreams that i do live through this hellish nightmare of  so called life. Thought i had found the road to some where, but all i found was a road to No Where. There was nothing to be found there, nothing at all, but still i believe there's something more for me. More than demons reflecting on my face, showing no emotion.
 Constant over stimulation bores me,I've seemed to have created my own prison of pain. Brought with pain closure has come to me. Closure knowing that, I Will Never Belong, and like a Leech I Hold on as though I did Belong.
 Its my life and its my choice. No one ever cared how i eased my suffering. Hooked on substance. I Found a brand new love that makes you feel like GoD. So sensitive It makes me sick but oh how the needle loves to sing, it screams your name as it Penetrates your skin, Dig in Deeper it takes you home.
I must confess it makes no sense,  Its all to revealing how Everything is so abused, Nothing is gonna change so just get out of my head.  Our Words are so deceiving, they get in my way all the time. It comes as no big surprise that its all just a Lie.
There is No compromise, im sick of pretending my mind is mending these thoughts are un-ending. Somethings gotta change or Something is gonna break.
I can not describe what i am feeling to you but i would not prescribe this feeling for you. I cant live with this forever, A pain with slow sustain, this pain is nearly dead. Nothing left to talk about, I cant stand to be Insane the world just wont take be back.
 There is a fine line between Love & Hate. Im Filled with reservations about dying with a lonely heart. Im Trying to find a way to end this pain or a reason to mend my ways. Im sick of feeling numb, but life is filled with hurt.
Looking the other way i have been  waiting desperately for so long  to see just what I've become. Looking deep within my soulless eyes, and you will see darkness ,An Eclipse of Nothingness and the more you see there, the less I will lie. You know nothing of my kind or my evil mind. Sacrifice your self and throw it all away and let me have whats left, but please just get away.
I will take the breathe right out of your chest, and leave a hole where your heart should have been. Your gonna have to fight just to make it through the Nothingness, cause i will be the death of you. Dont worry though cause it will all be over soon. I'll Show you how defenseless you really are and Show you how we end this.. Alright??
Its alright we will try to Satisfy an empty inside. Just dont cry or wonder Why. This is a land of make  believe so dead and dry. It makes you so cold inside and It makes you feel alive. It's alright we will try this one last time to satisfy an empty inside. Just lay your hand on me this one last time, im gonna take you on "A Journey Beyond The End"....